July 23, 2026, the 204th day of 2026
Loss
When we don't hear back from someone we may be concerned that something happened to them, but we don't really expect that to be the case. We expect that ou... View MoreJuly 23, 2026, the 204th day of 2026
Loss
When we don't hear back from someone we may be concerned that something happened to them, but we don't really expect that to be the case. We expect that our concern was unwarranted and that everything is fine.
Of course we pray. And we check up on that concern that we felt, because sometimes it is God nudging us into action.
And everything is okay. People get busy. People meant to reply. Everything is fine. We say a prayer of thanks and breath a sigh of relief.
That is what usually happens. It is what has happened before, and he was fine. My concerns were only concerns. Nothing more. Then comes the relief, like waking from a bad dream.
What we don't expect is that it is worse than we expected and that what we feared could happen, did happen.
And that is heartbreaking. It is a shock.
I lost one of my brother-in-laws, my late husband's oldest brother. It was a shock that I still can hardly believe.
He lived alone, with his dog. We communicated by phone, email and Facebook. I have come to expect his "like" or comment on a picture, especially one at my brother's lake where he spent a lot of time when he was up vacationing with his family years ago.
It was going to be a yearly thing once he was settled back in the states. The Army was his career and his life for so long.
But then my husband died in 2015, and he didn't have the heart for a vacation without seeing his brother.
Maybe next year, or the next, or the next? His kids grew up without that yearly visit. We missed seeing his family, but I understood. It was hard coming back so soon.
Then in 2019 he lost his wife, his love, the one who cherished him, who was younger than him and should have outlived him.
He didn't come in his mourning. It would have helped him and his kids, but I understood.
Maybe next year, or the next, or the next?
His kids grew up and moved away from home. We invited him up every year since he was last up, but every year he put off making plans until the Summer had passed, and then it was, "there is always next year".
It was the same this Summer, though the Summer had not passed yet, so I still had hopes. It is hard when someone lives alone and family is far away and scattered. None of us could just drop by for a quick visit.
Since we both lost our spouses, and I was married to his brother, we could message each other about feeling that loss, missing the old days when they were alive, memories and dreams.
So today, it was so strange because I just wanted to call him and talk to him about this loss of my friend and confidant, but I couldn't, because he was that man.
He is with Jesus and he is in excellent hands. His wife is there. His brother is there. His parents and many friends and army buddies are there.
But as it happens in all losses of people we love, it really hurts. It is that ache every time we remember that we cannot talk with them anymore in this lifetime.
That is a familiar ache with me.
Stay strong! Cherish your family and friends. None of us are promised tomorrow.
NAN
