June 23, 2026, the 174th day of 2026
The Purpose of Going Steady
This is the day Barry asked me to go steady all those years ago. It was an important stage in our lives and our relationship. And e... View MoreJune 23, 2026, the 174th day of 2026
The Purpose of Going Steady
This is the day Barry asked me to go steady all those years ago. It was an important stage in our lives and our relationship. And eventually it led to our engagement and marriage.
We learned a lot about each othet during that time. We talked about our views of God, on children, on our likes and dislikes. We did fun thinks together with other people, like go roller skating, took walks, did some shopping etc.
We talked about our familes and what we looked forward to when we had a family. We talked about what we thought was the responsibility of each of us in relation to the roles of a husband and a wife.
We went to my Bible Study group and church when he was up visiting me. We prayed together. We wrote each other letters and sent funny or sentimental cards to one another.
When we were apart we sought God's input on our choice of one another.
Today made me think about the reason and purpose of going steady. It was a good way of doing things.
But it had long fallen by the wayside, even before we went steady. It had become merely a way of claiming someone at school or camp. Those relationships barely lasted a semiister or a summer.
But at one time it was one of many protections and precautions against marrying the wrong person.
There was a time, not that very long ago, when a young man would ask a yound lady to go steady, to consider him as a potential marriage partner.
It wasn't an engagement. It wasn't moving in together. It had nothing to do with premarital sex. It had to do with discovering if they were compatible in all the other ways that mattered, that were not physical.
That initial attraction was the spark. But a spark could either ignite or fizzle out over time, depending on what it was fed. Going steady was a test of if there were something more, that would feed that spark, or if the spark was all that there was.
Fire cannot feed a spark. It may look brighter for an instant, but without anything for it to feed upon, it will go out. That flare up is an illusion. Physical attraction needs more to sustain that initial spark.
Focusing on physical seduction may catch a mate, but it won't sustain a marriage. Without working in other aspects of a relationship, it will burn out.
In relationships pysical will get in the way of discovering the deeper heart of a person, to determine if there is enough to take the next step, an engagement.
An engagement is too important to just jump into and harder to get out of. Going steady means that you are serious about one another. It means you want to spend more time with that person. It is a time for each to talk about things that matter most to them.
Before that stage even, a Christian should rule out anyone who is not a fellow Christian, as we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. This also applies to close friends and business partners, but it especially important when choosing a mate.
The Bible is pretty clear on this. It would save a lot of heartache later if people took this warning/command to heart.
"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people.'”
II Corinthians 6:14-16
Stay strong! A good start is so important if you want a good marriage.
NAN
Episode 318
Warrior Sisters for Christ: Episode 318: "Father's Day"
In Episode 318, "Fater's Day", Moana and Nelani talk about fatherhood and Father's Day.
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