No, you don’t. A vagina is the gateway to life. It’s self-cleaning, self-lubricating, and can stretch to accommodate an entire baby before returning to its original size.
What you have, sir, is a fauxgina, a dead-end fvckhole that doesn’t clean itself (and let’s be honest, you won’t clean it either), and which will have to be kept open by dilation for the rest of your life, lest it close up on you like the open wound it is. The only thing it has in common with a vagina is its location and its general shape, but even that is never quite right. It’s a fake, a phony, a hole that exists for no other reason than to be penetrated, and if I wrote down my hopes for its future, I’d probably get suspended.
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