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By Hugh Jasshole, TDS NewsWASHINGTON, D.C. — Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi demanded Monday that Americans “believe women” after claiming she had absolutely no idea Rep. Eric Swalwell was a creep.“I had no clue whatsoever,” Pelosi said, her eyes wide with the kind of innocent surprise only decades of heavy chardonnay consumption can produce. “Eric always seemed like such an upstanding young man. How could I have possibly known?”Insiders say Pelosi was likely too deep into her afternoon wine session to notice any red flags about Swalwell’s cozy relationship with suspected Chinese spy Christine Fang. “When Nancy’s on her third or fourth glass, she once mistook Chuck Schumer for a coat rack,” said one aide who spoke on condition of anonymity. “Swalwell being compromised was probably just background noise.”When pressed on whether her legendary drinking had impaired her judgment regarding other colleagues, Pelosi responded by calling for another “fact-finding mission” to Napa Valley.TDS News has not yet received comment from Swalwell, who was reportedly busy deleting old text messages.