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ERIC SWALWELL FARTS OFF INTO THE SUNSET Cartoon Published 04/14/2026 California Congressman Eric Swalwell has officially announced he’s resigning from Congress. Perfect timing, too—because more sexual assault and misconduct allegations just dropped today. Multiple women have come forward, claiming unwanted explicit messages, photos, and far worse—including a former staffer accusing him of rape while she was intoxicated. The House Ethics Committee has already launched an investigation, and even his own party started throwing him under the bus faster than you can say “Fang Fang 2.0.”Let’s not forget who we’re talking about here. This is the same Eric Swalwell who sat on the House Intelligence Committee while getting way too cozy with a Chinese spy named Fang Fang. Personal relationship? Check. Hired one of her associates onto his staff? Check. Sharing who-knows-what with who-knows-whom classified info? The Democrats shrugged and kept him around anyway because he was their loudest, most obnoxious attack dog against Trump and anyone who dared push back. But the real hypocrisy gold comes from 2018. Back then, Swalwell was one of the loudest voices screaming “Believe All Women” and “Believe Survivors” during the Brett Kavanaugh hearings. He demanded every accuser be heard, insisted multiple women coming forward proved guilt, and smugly suggested that if Kavanaugh was innocent, he should welcome all the allegations into the open to clear his name. Funny how that standard evaporates when the accusations are aimed at him. Suddenly it’s “I’m just unlucky” and time to quietly resign before the full circus begins. California’s jungle primary system already makes sure two Democrats duke it out in November, so once Swalwell started polling like yesterday’s sushi and looked like he’d just split the field, the Democrat establishment decided he was no longer useful. The protective shield vanished overnight, the scandals poured out, and poof — he’s gone. Now he’s exiting stage left on his camel while hoping we forget the Russian collusion hysteria, the Chinese honey trap, and all the times he lectured America about morality while he lived like a bad spy novel. So long, Eric. Don’t let the desert sand chafe… wherever the camel’s been. Stay tuned as California’s clown car primary keeps rolling. —The GrrrTeam