Jimmy
on November 7, 2025
16 views
Was I stupid to love You?
It's the question every man wrestling with costly obedience asks at 3 AM.
When the bills are late.
When the church calls you divisive.
When your family calls you fanatic.
A tweet on discipleship that costs everything:
I sold everything.
You said to.
The house. The career. The reputation.
Gone.
My family calls me fanatic.
My church calls me divisive.
My bank account calls me fool.
Peter walked on water.
Then sank.
Then denied You three times.
Then got crucified upside down.
Was he stupid?
Job lost ten children in one day.
Sat in ash scraping boils with pottery for six months.
His wife told him to curse You and die.
His friends called him secret sinner.
You never answered his questions.
I gave You my twenties.
(Purity. Mission trips. Seminary debt.)
I gave You my thirties.
(Ministry. Poverty. Burnout.)
I'm giving You my forties.
(The years I was supposed to arrive.)
And I'm still obscure.
The Instagram preachers who water You down—
They have the platforms.
The passive men who call surrender "balance"—
They have the churches.
The guys who turned You into a life coach—
They have the book deals.
And I have... what?
Calluses.
Criticism.
Conviction.
You promised me a hundredfold.
I'm still counting.
You promised me life abundant.
Define abundant.
The rich young ruler walked away sad.
He wasn't stupid.
He was SMART.
He kept his wealth. His status. His safety.
I walked toward You.
And lost all three.
There are nights—God, there are nights—
Where the silence is so thick
I check the tomb to see if You left again.
Was I stupid to love You?
No burning bush.
No audible voice.
No confirmation text from heaven.
Just this:
The same question You asked Peter after the third denial:
"Do you love Me?"
And I do.
God help me, I do.
Not because it's smart.
Not because it's safe.
Not because it's WORKING.
Because You're TRUE.
I'd rather be a fool for the true God
than a success story for a fake one.
So no.
I wasn't stupid to love You.
I was stupid before I did.
Full poem + biblical framework:
substacktools.com/sharex/ObliiPiQ
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File Size: 49.37 Kb
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