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Vive la France — Macron’s Glorious Legacy of Collapse Ah, Emmanuel Macron — the self-styled Jupiterian president who promised to revolutionise France, only to leave it looking more like a smoking ruin of its former self. Let’s take a sober look at what “progress” looks like under his enlightened reign. 🇫🇷 Debt to Infinity and Beyond France’s public debt has soared past €3.4 trillion — that’s 115% of GDP. Future generations can look forward to inheriting not wealth, but a national IOU. Bravo. 🇫🇷 Open Borders, Closed Minds In 2024 alone, France handed out 343,000 residence permits — a 31% jump from 2017. A record-breaking achievement for anyone who enjoys riots, no-go zones, and the slow erosion of national identity. 🇫🇷 Prime Minister Musical Chairs Seven prime ministers in eight years. It’s less a government and more a revolving door at the Élysée Palace. 🇫🇷 Islamist Influence Rising While the French struggle to pay bills, the Muslim Brotherhood quietly entrenches itself in education, local councils, and NGOs — all under Macron’s benevolent gaze. Secularism, once France’s proudest value, is now a punchline. 🇫🇷 The Benalla Affair Macron’s personal bodyguard was filmed beating protesters while dressed as police — because nothing says “liberté, égalité, fraternité” quite like presidential thuggery. 🇫🇷 Permanent Civil Unrest From the Yellow Vests to Nanterre, France hasn’t had a single peaceful year since Macron took office. Millions in the streets, cars burning, and a president hiding behind a velvet curtain calling it “dialogue.” 🇫🇷 Riots as the New National Sport Last June’s chaos after a PSG match wasn’t a football celebration — it was a preview of France’s future. Mass immigration policies have turned every spark into a firestorm. And yet, Macron lectures the world about democracy, climate change, and “European values.” Under his rule, France became a parody of itself — a nation taxed to death, divided by ideology, and governed by ego. Vive la France, indeed — what’s left of it.