Where did all these self-righteous people get this "Stop feeling sorry for yourself" nonsense? What even IS that? Why is it when someone is at their wit's end about life and can't imagine trying to co... View MoreWhere did all these self-righteous people get this "Stop feeling sorry for yourself" nonsense? What even IS that? Why is it when someone is at their wit's end about life and can't imagine trying to continue any longer that someone pops up in their infinite wisdom and just deals out, "Eh, quit feelin sorry for yourself"? Are they serious? That's an atrocious answer and I'll tell you why they have no idea what they're saying: they've never had real and TRUE self-hatred or low self esteem because I can tell you right damn now, if they had, they'd know that it's not "self pity", but self REJECTION. let's explore.
Let's look at why people hate themselves to start with. What happened? How long has it been going on? Who was there in the first moment you felt this way? How has it gotten in your way nowadays?
This feeling almost always comes from a time in your early life when you were somehow taught that some part of you was just unacceptable. You were laughed at, ridiculed, rejected, despised, judged or, in some way, deemed unworthy of acceptance or love for who you are. Maybe you were shown that you were disappointing in some way. First thing I'd like to tell you is this: You are fine the way you are. I have been helping people all my life and I've never met anyone who wasn't in need of some simple understanding from a good listener. No one is less worthy than the next one. It's just not possible.
The fact that you've been taught that you are not enough or unacceptable in some way or another came from a person who thought that of themselves, otherwise they wouldn't have such a desperate need to project that shit onto you (which was their sorry attempt at trying to be heard and understood THEMSELVES..... more on that later). So it's safe to say, you could consider yourself a victim of a victim, but you're NOT stuck with it.
Now, when this person indicated to you that you are not what the world (or them) wanted, you had basically two choices at such a young age: be yourself and risk losing the love/acceptance/approval of the caregiver, which was your only or ultimate survival; OR denying that unacceptable part of yourself so that the caregiver would still love you, thereby ensuring your continued survival. It's sad but it's pressure we've all been put under at some point; it's just that some of us suffered from it more so than others.
So as you went through your life, you had to suppress that part of you to hold on to survival, and it turns into self hate because you've rejected yourself. This has nothing to with with feeling sorry for yourself; you are DENYING your own identity or essence, not wallowing in self pity... still in need of attention like any other human being, yes, but not just "sitting there feeling sorry for yourself." I hate it when people say that.
My other post on Self Hate is more in-depth here:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/61595709
www.mirandawyattlifecoach.com
Y'all know I love my British cousins no doubt but this is hilarious 🤣🤣
Let's look at one event in your life that is still haunting you: one person whose comment or action still hurts you to this day. Here's a couple simple ways to change how you look at it so it doesn't ... View MoreLet's look at one event in your life that is still haunting you: one person whose comment or action still hurts you to this day. Here's a couple simple ways to change how you look at it so it doesn't torture you anymore:
1. Look at that person's life and see what might have happened to them to make them act that way. They may have been a victim, too. This does not require your forgiveness, by any means, but this angle can help you to see them as the human they are and, therefore, not as much of a domineering influence on you.
2. Ask yourself where you can feel this memory in your body, physically. There is a lot to be said for how energy is stored in your fibers. There have been times when I was exercising and I would just start crying. I knew it was the tension coming out of my matter. It's a good thing. Let it happen. You deserve it. You may not even know which memory is coming out of your body, but I promise, it can and it will if you give it a chance.
3. Is there anything that you might be in denial about that this event has really brought to the surface? This hurtful event has touched a real soft spot within you that you need to examine. Your attention is being brought to some part of you that needs love and understanding: an old fear?
I will go into detail (probably in a youtube video) shortly, but I thought this might be a good start. Let me know if this helps :)
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