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LONDON—In a stunning display of maritime dominance that experts are calling “the most polite invasion since the Vikings learned to queue,” Russian President Vladimir Putin’s navy casually paraded the guided-missile frigate Admiral Grigorovich right past Britain’s southern shoreline Tuesday, escorted by two sanctioned oil tankers and zero consequences.Sources close to 10 Downing Street confirmed that Prime Minister Keir Starmer watched the entire spectacle from a window, reportedly muttering, “Well, they did signal properly,” before returning to his important work of taxing the middle class into oblivion.“At this point the Royal Navy’s primary mission is to wave at Russian ships and file strongly-worded reports,” said one anonymous Ministry of Defence official while polishing his collection of participation medals. “We’re basically the hall monitors of the English Channel now. Very inclusive. Very diverse. Extremely non-confrontational.”When reached for comment, Starmer’s office released a statement reminding citizens that “flaccidity is a spectrum” and that “judging a nation’s naval posture by whether it lets hostile warships sail through its front yard is, quite frankly, problematic.”Meanwhile, Russian sailors were seen taking selfies with the White Cliffs of Dover in the background, captioning them “Wish you were here… but you’re not.”Reporting live from the deck of the HMS We’re Not Mad, Just Disappointed,Gabe OwnersTDS News