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NEW YORK, NY — A visibly devastated Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced today that he is “utterly heartbroken” following the death of his longtime spiritual advisor, Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and has officially declared February 28 “Dead Dictator Day” in the five boroughs.“I know the haters will call him a dictator, but to me he was more than that,” Mamdani told reporters while dabbing his eyes with a keffiyeh. “He was my North Star. My moral compass. The man who taught me that true tolerance means executing the gays, stoning the women, and funding every terror group that wants to finish what Hitler started — but, like, in a very progressive, anti-colonial way.”City Hall sources confirm the new holiday will feature mandatory public readings of Khamenei’s greatest fatwas, free “Death to America” tote bags at every subway station, and a special two-minute hate directed at anyone who still thinks Israel should exist.When asked if the date conflicted with any existing observances, Mamdani waved the concern away. “February 28 was just sitting there doing nothing. Now it belongs to the resistance. Also, Black History Month ends the day before, so the timing is perfect — we’re keeping the liberation train rolling.”At press time, the mayor was reportedly lighting a candle at a makeshift shrine featuring a portrait of Khamenei photoshopped onto a Pride flag, whispering, “You did it, habibi. You really did it.”