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MINNEAPOLIS, MN – In a stunning display of bravery that only a true social justice warrior could muster, local protester Karen McExplody valiantly scooped up a live flash-bang grenade during an anti-ICE rally, only to have it detonate in her hand like a fireworks show gone wrong. Sources confirm she was attempting to hurl it back at federal agents who were rudely trying to deport foreign criminals, including one convicted pedophile from a distant land where such hobbies are apparently frowned upon less.“I was just trying to save this poor, undocumented child enthusiast from the clutches of orange fascism,” McExplody sobbed from her hospital bed, nursing her newly finger-deficient paw. “If Trump hadn’t made grenades so explode-y, I’d still have all ten digits to flip off the patriarchy with!”Eyewitnesses report that McExplody, clad in a “No Human Is Illegal” t-shirt ironically made in a sweatshop overseas, charged into the fray with the enthusiasm of a toddler discovering a shiny toy. “She picked it up like it was a discarded Starbucks cup,” said one fellow protester, who wisely kept their distance. “Who knew that grabbing live ordnance deployed by trained professionals could backfire? Must be climate change or something.”TDS News reached out to the pedophile in question for comment, but he was too busy being escorted to the border to respond. Meanwhile, McExplody has launched a GoFundMe for “prosthetic fingers and emotional support therapy,” already raising enough to buy a lifetime supply of safe-space bubble wrap.Hugh Janus is a senior correspondent for TDS News, specializing in stories that highlight the perils of virtue-signaling without a basic grasp of physics.