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Minneapolis, MN — Former First Lady “Big Mike” Obama was rushed to the hospital Tuesday after her testicles froze solidly to her leg in the middle of a fiery anti-ICE protest speech.According to doctors, the incident occurred when Obama, who reportedly accepted a hefty six-figure speaking fee from the Soros Foundation, took the stage in sub-zero Minnesota wind chills without adequate undergarment insulation.“Big Mike was really giving it to the crowd about abolishing ICE when we heard this loud ‘thunk’ sound,” said one attendee. “Next thing you know, she’s doubled over yelling something about her boys sticking to the thigh meat.”Emergency room staff used a heat gun on low setting to gently unthaw the former First Lady’s testicles, which are now expected to make a full recovery. Hospital officials confirmed Obama was discharged the same day after a round of warm compresses and a stern lecture about wearing thermal underwear in protest season.The Soros Foundation has declined comment on whether future speaking fees will include a winter clothing stipend.