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NEW YORK, NY — In a groundbreaking moment for urban infrastructure, Mayor Zohran Mamdani became the first Muslim man to fill a pothole without embedding an improvised explosive device—or so he claims. But one grizzled Department of Transportation worker isn’t ready to let his guard down just yet.“We’re still gonna check that pothole for explosives,” said Barry McKockiner, a New York City DOT employee and Iraq War veteran, as he spoke with TDS News reporter Gabe Owners beside the freshly filled crater on East 14th Street. “I’ve never seen a Muslim man fill a pothole without placing a Russian land mine in it. You just can’t trust men who diddle goats,” continued McKockiner, eyeing the smooth asphalt with the suspicion of a man who’s seen one too many roadside surprises.Owners, ever the voice of reason in TDS News’ hard-hitting coverage, attempted to calm the veteran. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I was here the whole time. Mamdani just came out here in his expensive suit and took a few pictures with a shovel in his hands. He didn’t actually do any work. He’s a socialist after all,” said Owners, adjusting his press badge while scanning for any signs of subversive activity.City officials have yet to comment on the incident, but sources close to the mayor insist the pothole repair was a genuine act of public service, free of any hidden agendas or goat-related conspiracies. McKockiner, however, remains vigilant: “Call me paranoid, but in my line of work, paranoia keeps the streets safe—and unexploded.”Reported by Gabe Owners of TDS News.