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Brothers and sisters, let me be perfectly clear: I had absolutely no clue—no idea whatsoever—that owning three homes somehow turned me into a white supremacist until Cea Weaver set me straight on that. I want to thank Ms. Weaver from the bottom of my heart for shining a light on my so-called racism. And let’s not forget to thank Mayor Mamdani for putting such a sharp, brilliant young woman in charge as housing czar in New York City. Now that I’ve woken up to the fact that my three expensive homes make me part of this white supremacist system, I’m going to sell every last one of them and hand over the proceeds to Mayor Mamdani, so he can finally give working people in NYC the free bus rides they deserve.