Jimmy
on December 31, 2025
26 views
I love this:
🎤 I Am Not Woke
I am a woman.
I am Gen X.
Which means I was raised on hot hose water, unsupervised bike riding, and the understanding that if you’re bleeding but still conscious, you’re probably fine.
I am not emotionally injured by words.
I have survived mall bangs, dial-up internet, and New Coke.
You are not going to take me out with a tweet.
I believe in equality.
Not the Oppression Olympics, where everyone shows up with a clipboard and a backstory.
I am a strong woman.
I pay my bills.
I change my tire.
I handle my life.
But yes, I still want a man who opens jars, kills spiders, checks the noise in the basement, and says,
“Relax. I’ve got this,”
while holding a flashlight he definitely does not know how to use properly.
That is not patriarchy.
That is foreplay.
That is chemistry.
Somewhere in the last decade, feminism stopped being about opportunity and turned into a poorly dubbed workplace orientation video that never ends.
Now everything is “toxic.”
Except the people screaming it on social media at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday with 14 pronouns and a coffee addiction.
We turned “live and let live” into
“live exactly like me or prepare for a 37-tweet thread.”
Disagreement is now violence.
Silence is now violence.
Looking at someone wrong is probably violence.
Everyone has a label, a trigger, a diagnosis, and a podcast.
No one has a sense of humor.
Personal grace is rarer than Sasquatch.
We replaced confidence with outrage.
Facts with feelings.
And actual problems with performance art.
I do not need a seminar to exist.
I do not need a warning label on jokes.
I do not need a committee to approve my opinions.
I am a woman.
I am independent.
I am emotionally stable.
I like men who act like men.
I like women who do not hate them for it.
And I would like to enjoy my coffee without being educated.
My wish for 2026 is simple:
May woke finally go to sleep.
Put on its little eye mask.
Take a melatonin.
Log off the internet.
And let the rest of us get back to living.
I am not woke.
I am awake.
And I would like my culture back,
preferably without a training session.
Happy New Year friends!
May this be the year we shed the cloak of woke for good and start living our lives as intended... Free.
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