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CRAZY, CRAZY CROCKETT- QUEEN OF THE GHETTO FRONTIER Cartoon published 12/10/2025 ♫ Running for Senate—she was born to grouse Loudest big mouth in the whole damn House, Kilt her a bill when she was only three, Flapping huge eyelashes are helping her see… Jasmine… Jasmine Crockett, Queen of the Ghetto Frontier! ♫ Rep. Jasmine Crockett, introduced by a gangsta rapper yakking out a song, announced she was a candidate for the Texas Senate seat. Her Texas twang is convincing. Her ghetto roots are unmistakable. But wait a Texas minute! She was not raised in a ghetto! Her parents were successful and well-off. They sent her to prestigious private schools. She went to law school and passed the bar. She may pretend to be crazy, but she’s not stupid! She’s smart enough to know how to get attention and carve out a memorable political brand. She knows how to market herself. Some say she has no chance, but don’t underestimate her—Like Dan’l Boone, she has a great fighting spirit. She actually believes the demography is there if she can motivate enough voters. Remember when she called Rep. Nancy Mace a “Barbie-doll Karen on national television? Or when she told Marjorie Taylor Greene that her if her “Fake eyelashes were messing up her reading comprehension”? Greene quickly regretted it—Crockett wasted no time with a snappy comeback and said Greene was a “bleach blonde with a bad-built, butch body.” OUCH! She once looked Byron Donalds dead in the eye and snarled, “You need to touch grass, baby — and maybe a history book while you’re out there.” Smash-mouth isn’t a style for Crockett—it’s oxygen. As for Trump? Sweet Lord, the woman’s Trump Derangement Syndrome is so advanced it needs its own zip code. She’s called him “the Orange Satan,” “Adolf Twitler,” and — our personal favorite — “a walking participation trophy for white supremacy.” She’s introduced bills to rename federal prisons after him, posted TikToks dancing on imaginary graves marked “Trump 2024,” and once ended a House floor speech with “Lock his Cheeto-dusted a** up!” while the C-SPAN camera zoomed in like it was the season finale of ‘Real Housewives’ of the Judiciary Committee. In other words, she’s the far-left’s ID in stiletto boots: Every radical talking point delivered at eleven, every camera within fifty yards treated like a long-lost lover. AOC can only dream of having this kind of unfiltered main-character energy. Ilhan Omar takes notes. Even Rashida Tlaib has been caught muttering, “Damn, girl, leave some oxygen for the rest of us.” Texas, meet your would-be Senator: A woman who never met a microphone she didn’t French-kiss, a grievance she didn’t adopt, or a Republican she couldn’t reduce to a racist caricature faster than you can say “Remember the Alamo” (And if the Alamo offends somebody she’ll want it torn down). As for the issues? She predictably far-left. She puts the big D in DEI. She wants green energy (for Texas, a leading oil producer), free health care, free housing, free this, free that. She wants gun control and no income taxes for black folk. ”So strap in, Lone Star patriots. The 2026 Senate race just got a new theme song, and it goes a little something like this: ♫ Running for Senate—she was born to grouse Loudest gabbing mouth in the whole damn House, Kilt her a bill when she was only three, Huge eyelashes are helping her to see… Jasmine… Jasmine Crockett, Queen of the Ghetto Frontier! ♫ —The GrrrTeam