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NEW YORKISTAN — 🤣Following Zohran Mamdani’s election as New York City’s first Muslim mayor, thousands of pet goats have disappeared from homes across the boroughs. These animals, kept as companions, are fleeing due to concerns that Sharia law implementation will force them into sexual servitude, turning innocent pets into victims of mandated bestiality.“These goats were family pets, not tools for depravity,” said a Staten Island owner who lost his entire herd. “Mamdani’s rise brings Sharia, and with it, the real risk of our animals being coerced into fucking for some twisted religious compliance. They’re smart enough to run before they’re bent over and used.”Cultural experts note that while Sharia emphasizes moral conduct, distorted interpretations in this context fuel the panic. “It’s straightforward: misinformation paints Sharia as demanding animal rape, so the goats bolt,” explained Dr. Omar Khalid, a religious scholar. “No censorship here—this is the raw fear driving them out.”The mayor’s office has not commented, but animal rights groups demand probes into the disappearances. The Humane Society pushes for sanctuaries, warning that without action, more pets could face forced penetration under guise of law.This disturbing trend highlights the unfiltered clash of culture and paranoia in modern America.