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OH SNAP! Cartoon published 08/25/2025 Kathleen Williams, a Miami federal judge appointed by Obama, has ordered the shutdown of ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ due to environmental reasons. She claims Governor DeSantis has no say, since the jurisdiction is federal, but if sets precedent it could mean more shutdowns of illegal alien detention facilities by more democrat judges throughout the country. For now, the center can stay open—no new detainees or construction, per the judge—but DeSantis is pushing for an emergency stay and even floating ideas about relocating elements of the operation if needed. It’s classic DeSantis: When the going gets tough, the tough get litigious. Besides, this isn’t just about alligators and Alcatraz knockoffs. It’s a proxy war for America’s borders. DeSantis knows that closing Alligator Alcatraz would be a win for open-border advocates, so he’s pulling out all the stops and leveraging state funds for legal battles. If history is any guide, don’t bet against the guy who turned Disney’s dreams into a regulatory nightmare. Thanks to the ‘Big, Beautiful Bill,’ Trump has been able to fund more ICE agents and they have been busy tracking down and detaining those who have been allowed to waltz into the country unvetted and untracked. The Democrats, however, are bent on protecting criminals—‘illegal migrants’ or not— in their sanctuary cities. That’s right, the Democrats have become the party of crime and chaos. There is a silver lining in this judicial jamboree: Alligator Alcatraz might be under siege, but it inspired a wave of copycat facilities across red states—all geared up for the Trump-era deportation boom. These aren’t your grandma’s detention centers. They’re branded with the signature Trumpian flair—punny names that nod to local lore while packing a punch against illegal immigration. Get ready, because these bad boys are opening for business soon, thus expanding ICE capacity by thousands of beds. Look for the Democrats to be against the detention of their illegal voting block. Here’s a quick rundown of the upcoming deportation dynamos: • Speedway Slammer (Indiana): Revving up in Miami County, this 1,000-bed beast at a re-purposed prison is all about speed—fitting for the Hoosier State’s racing heritage. Set to house “criminal illegal aliens,” it’s a partnership between DHS and Governor Mike Braun, with operations kicking off imminently. Think of it as the pit stop for deportations, where the only checkered flag is a one-way ticket home. • Corn husker Clink (Nebraska): Nebraska’s Governor Jim Pillen is teaming with Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem for this 280-bed addition at a McCook work camp. Dubbed after the state’s corn-loving nickname and that old-school jail slang, it’s the third in the series and promises to “clink” the cuffs on border jumpers faster than you can shuck an ear. Doors open any day now, folks—get your popcorn (or corn on the cob). • Lone Star Lockup (Texas): Everything’s bigger in Texas, including their deportation game. This massive facility is ramping up to add serious capacity, branded with the state’s iconic star for that extra patriotic punch. Expect it to swing open soon, locking down the southern border like a true Texan showdown. • Deportation Depot (North Dakota): Up north, this one’s all about efficiency— a “depot” for dispatching deportees from the heartland. With nods to the region’s rugged spirit, it’s another DHS-state collab set to launch shortly, ensuring no corner of America is left unsecured. These facilities are part of a broader strategy under the “One Big Beautiful Bill,” turning state prisons into federal deportation hubs. While critics whine about the catchy names being “insensitive,” supporters see them as clever marketing for a serious mission: securing our sovereignty one pun at a time. In the end, DeSantis’ stand against these rogue judges isn’t just about saving Alligator Alcatraz—it’s about setting a precedent for states to step up when Washington wavers. As more of these themed lockups pop up, the message is clear: America’s borders are back in business. —The GrrrTeam