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NOEM’S PURSE SNATCHER GETS SNATCHED-TINA TOON Cartoon published 04/28/2025 Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem was enjoying a family dinner at The Capital Burger in Washington DC on Easter Sunday. Her $4,400 Gucci bag was nestled by her feet and brimming with $3,000 in cash as well as a Louis Vuitton wallet. Also included was her passport, DHS badge, and more—it was basically a jackpot for the thief. That thief was Mario Bustamante-Leiva, a 49-year-old Chilean career criminal and illegal immigrant with a rap sheet longer than a CVS receipt. He had been dodging deportation for years. Bustamante-Leiva is a pro at snatching purses from DC’s swanky spots, and when he saw Noem’s Gucci bag he couldn’t resist another heist. He slid into the seat next to Noem, used his foot to drag the bag like he is auditioning for Ocean’s Eleven, draped a jacket over it, and poof!—he was gone before Noem realized her grandkids weren’t to blame for the quick brush against her leg. The irony? This guy unknowingly picked the pocket—er purse—of the woman leading the charge for border security and deportations. Talk about a cosmic facepalm. The perp’s karma train rolled in fast. By April 27, the Secret Service nabbed Bustamante-Leiva in DC and unmasked him as a “serial offender” with a history of high-end thefts from London to New York. A second suspect, believed to be his accomplice and also an illegal immigrant, was pinched in Miami, thus hinting at a broader east coast robbery ring that was targeting the rich and famous. Noem quickly seized the moment, got on X and thanked her Secret Service and ICE while framing the Bustamante bust as proof of President Trump’s “make America safe” mission while also pointing out the suspect’s illegal status and criminal past. The Secret Service is keeping mum on charges as well as his photo for now, but they’re working with the DC US Attorney’s Office to bring the case to Federal Court. Law enforcement sources suggest the duo might be part of an organized network exploiting lax immigration policies, hitting upscale venues from hotels to coffee shops. The fallout? Beyond the personal violation—Noem lost her keys, meds, and blank checks—(ouch!)—the incident sparked a security inquest. Experts such as former Secret Service agent Jonathan Wackrow called it a “high-consequence” breach, questioning how Noem’s detail missed a masked thief working his magic right under their noses. The House Homeland Security Committee is now sniffing around, demanding answers on Secret Service protocols for protecting VIPs at private gigs. Meanwhile, Noem’s camp insists she wasn’t targeted for her role; the flashy Gucci bag was just too tempting for a professional thief. The case is still unfolding and it has become a lightning rod in the immigration debate. Noem and Trump allies are waving it as a red flag representing border policy failures. Oh, the sweet irony: An illegal alien and thief who thought he scored big by swiping a fancy bag ends up in cuffs, courtesy of the very agency his victim runs. —The GrrrTeam