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Peter Marshall: "Eddie Fisher recently said, 'I am sorry. I am sorry for them both.' Who was he referring to?"Paul Lynde: "His fans."Marshall: "According to Tony Randall, 'Every woman I've been intimate with in my life has been...' what?"Lynde: "Bitterly disappointed."Marshall: "Paul, how many fingers in the girl scout salute?"Lynde: "Gee, I don't remember. The last time I saw it was when I didn't buy their cookies."Marshall: "Paul, does Ann Landers think there is anything wrong with you if you do your housework in the nude?"Lynde: "No, but I have to be terribly careful when I do my ironing."Marshall: "Paul, any good sailor knows that when a man falls off a ship you yell 'Man overboard!' What should you shout if a woman falls overboard?"Lynde: "Full speed ahead!"Marshall: "What are 'dual-purpose cattle' good for that other cattle aren't?"Lynde: "They give milk... and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies."Marshall: "Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?"Lynde: "Because chiffon wrinkles too easily."Marshall: "According to the IRS, out of every 10 Americans audited, how many end up paying more taxes?"Lynde: "11."Marshall: "What's the one thing you should never do in bed?"Lynde: "Point and laugh!"Marshall: "In 'The Wizard Of Oz', the Tin Man wanted a heart, and the Lion wanted courage. What did the Straw Man want?"Lynde: "He wanted the Tin Man to notice him."Marshall: "In the Shakespearean play 'King Lear,' King Lear had three of them - Goneril, Cordelia, and Regan? Who were they?"Lynde: "King Lear had Goneril?"Marshall: "Paul, everyone knows the first verse: What shall we do with the drunken sailor? / What shall we do with the drunken sailor? / What shall we do with the drunken sailor? / Early in the morning? But what is the first line of the next verse?"Lynde : [singing] "Put him in bed with Elizabeth Taylor / Put him in bed with Elizabeth Taylor / Put him in bed with Elizabeth Taylor / Early in the morning." [audience laughs] "How disgusting... that poor sailor!"Marshall: "True or false, Paul Revere had 16 children?"Lynde: "From ONE midnight ride?"Marshall: "Back in the 1870s, Emile Berliner invented something, and without it, I wouldn't be able to do my job. What was it?"Lynde: "Let's see... toupees? Facelifts? Contact lenses?"Marshall: "Now cut that out!"Lynde: "Makeup? Capped teeth? Loud sports jackets?"Credit Goes To The Respective Owner