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In family systems that can’t validate the truth of what is (actually) going on, this can deeply injure the people around them. Family systems that have strong patterns of denial, suppress important truths, truths that need to be acknowledged and spoken about. This can happen because people don’t have the skills to deal with what is going on. It can happen when speaking a truth might mean needing to radically change one’s life. Regardless of the reason behind this behavior, a person denying or avoiding reality is profoundly painful for the people around them. It is excruciating for the people who are tuned into truth, and who need it validated. Not having one’s reality validated can feel especially threatening and disorienting for a child. It can cause them to not trust themselves or others. It can make them feel unsafe and lonely as adults. If you grew up in a system where your truth was routinely invalidated or denied, I am so sorry. Your experience and reality deeply matters even if the people around you weren’t able to be with it. It’s so important that you look out for people who might now do this to you as an adult. You might be drawn to people who deny your reality because you have a high tolerance for this behavior (and therefore are vulnerable to this pattern). You might be drawn to people who do this because you want to finally convince people to see the truth! I want you to know that you can let yourself off the hook from doing that anymore. Convincing others is no longer necessary for your healing. Your healing will more likely be around people who can make space for your reality (even if it differs from theirs). Your healing is present amongst those who have the ability to validate you and want to understand what you’re going through. Your healing exists in learning to validate yourself especially around those who don’t have the ability to offer that to you...