Relationships -
For relationships to work it requires a good foundation, that includes good communication , honesty, and a trust between both people.
A relationship is like a box, and both people must compromise parts of themselves to fit in this box, and this box is laced with expectations, or vows, such as their partner must be faithful, respectful, honoring, etc. till death do they part.
When we place expectations on other people we are disempowering ourselves. We cannot control the actions of other people, and sooner or later someone will fall short of meeting our expectations and then we will judge them for it, causing an unnecessary conflict. This conflict will cause a resentment to form, like a wedge, that begins growing between them.
When you put two people that are growing in a relationship one of two things will happen, people will either grow together, or they will unknowingly grow apart.
As everyone is unique, the rate of growth is unique to each individual.
Good communication is necessary to monitor the growth of each individual within the relationship. As individuals grow, they may have new desires and needs.
If growth isn’t monitored and if there isn’t clear communication these new desires will not be identified or accommodated.
It is common, especially with longer relationships that sooner or later an individual will begin to feel as if they are missing out on an aspect of life. If someone gets married at the age of twenty, years later they may feel this and feel they have missed an opportunity to learn how to be independent or that they never had a chance to have the social life they could have had going out and having fun with their friends. They may feel a little regretful of entering a relationship at such a young age causing them to sacrifice so much.
If this was openly discussed with their partner, accommodations could be made where the individual could go out more with their friends and to experience the freedom and individual that they need.
This scenario is common, but unfortunately these new desires aren’t discussed because open communication isn’t established so the new desires of the individual are not discussed.
The individual may think “If I bring this up, my partner will say no and resent me to bringing it up.” So they don’t give their partner an opportunity to be accommodating to their desire, or even know they have it. So they end up quenching these desires by themselves.
Now this doesn’t mean that this individual is bad for doing this, because after all, if they feel they can’t talk to their partner about these things, their partner has also helped to create this perception over time. Perhaps they have not been accommodating to open discussions in the past that helped to build this wall.
As you can see without proper communication between both parties within a relationship things can go downhill in a hurry, ultimately destroying a relationship.
Many times a couple wake up and find they don’t seem to know each other anymore and force themselves to stay in a miserable situation all because growth of the people wasn’t identified, communicated, or acknowledged causing the couple to unnecessarily grow apart this is truly sad.
A relationship isn’t owed to anyone, ever. A couple may choose to walk some of their journeys together, but it needs to be understood that either party has the right to to leave a relationship at anytime as not to take each other for granted.
Too often we become complacent in our relationships. We lay claim to our partner, many times unknowingly, we taken them for granted. we act as if they are our property and we take away their freedom, their independence, and even their voice, and then we insist that they are to be faithful to us. Why would they after all we have done to them?
Our partners are not our property. We can expect fidelity as much as we want, we can expect them to stay with us, but we cannot control this.
At the end of the day, we each have the right to make any choices that we want to build our lives exactly how we want to regardless of what any other people want or think. Some choices with yield positive outcomes and others will yield negative outcomes, but either way we learn from them and it is nobody else’s business to say otherwise.
When entering a relationship do not compromise any aspect of yourself to fit in to the relationship, and do not stay in a relationship if it stops to being beneficial to both parties, this means that the relationship has run its course and it’s time to move on.
Many of us choose security at the cost of our freedom, and become too comfortable and then we get older and realize that we have missed so much and so many experiences that we could have had experienced that would have helped us grow and made our lives so much richer.
Life is too short and you are too magnificent to end up as someone else’s property, voiceless, full of regrets and low self worth.
Have a great day everyone I hope this helps someone...
In Album: Ask Uncle Randy's Timeline Photos
Dimension:
526 x 935
File Size:
44.88 Kb
Love (2)
Loading...
