Funny Memes, Pics and Jokes

My mother-in-law auditioned for a part in Game of Thrones. Unfortunately all the dragon roles were already taken.

I was sitting at a bar the other night. A woman was a few seats down. When she turned to look my way, her glass eye flew out. It rolled across the bar. I jumped out of my seat to catch it before it... View MoreI was sitting at a bar the other night. A woman was a few seats down. When she turned to look my way, her glass eye flew out. It rolled across the bar. I jumped out of my seat to catch it before it could hit the floor, and I handed it back to her. She was grateful, and asked if I'd to go out to dinner with her one night, her treat. I asked, "Do you chat up all the guys who come in here?" She said, "No. Just the ones who catch my eye."

View Less

Somebody once asked Chuck Norris how many bench presses he could do. He said, "All of them."

Australia has been noted to be the foremost authority on the subject of cans. Pop cans, soda cans, even trash cans. The country is highly populated with can gurus.

I don't want to sound xenophobic. But why is it that foreign DNA is always found at crime scenes?

The first time I made love to my wife, I asked her, "Was I the first one?" She responded, "How come everybody always asks me that?"