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Woody Wood

February 8, 2026 10:25 pm

Imagine hating a political party so much you’d risk your unborn child's health (or yours) out of spite. TRUMP: “Some people say it’s not a good idea to play hopscotch on the freeway.” LIBERALS (lau... View MoreImagine hating a political party so much you’d risk your unborn child's health (or yours) out of spite. TRUMP: “Some people say it’s not a good idea to play hopscotch on the freeway.” LIBERALS (launching themselves into rush hour traffic): “Oh, yeah? Watch me now, MAGA boy!” Now we’ve got expectant mothers filming themselves gulping acetaminophen with captions declaring “the orange man is not my OB” and “I believe in science.” Sweetheart, science isn’t whatever the opposite of Trump says. Science is data, peer review, controlled studies. You don’t prove your superior intellect by playing pharmaceutical roulette with your fetus. At least one pregnant woman has been hospitalized after intentionally overdosing on Tylenol. She’s allegedly in liver failure and on a ventilator and not expected to survive. The analogies are endless. It would be like drinking battery acid because your ex told you not to. Like rage-quitting your dream job because your coworker got a better stapler. Like keying your own car because your MAGA hat-wearing brother-in-law bought the same make and model. There’s a difference between principled opposition and psychosis with a side of prenatal vitamins. There’s a ton of research out there that even deranged Democrats could easily find—so they either don’t want to find it, they’re too dumb to look for it, or their unchecked fury kicked any hopeful shred of common sense to the curb. The data, though? Yikes. Mice dosed with baby-equivalent Tylenol lost the ability to navigate a simple maze. (Imagine giving your toddler Tylenol for teething pain, and they end up unable to find the bathroom in their own house.) A 2008 parent survey study reported that children given acetaminophen after the MMR vaccine were several times more likely to be diagnosed with autism. In a subgroup of children with post-vaccination side effects, the increase was eight-fold; ibuprofen use showed no such association. An eight-fold increase! It’s not just autism that’s been linked to prenatal use of America’s Painkiller™. ADHD, language delays, behavioral problems, asthma, and lower IQ are all associated with acetaminophen use in pregnancy. To be clear, these are observational studies—which can suggest but cannot prove causality—and experts are quick to point out that risks increase with prolonged or repeated use, as opposed to the occasional, modest dose. And yet, even Tylenol says you shouldn’t take Tylenol when you’re pregnant.

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