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BREAKING: Education Secretary Linda McMahon under President Trump has uncovered that deceased individuals were still being approved for federal student loans. This discovery is leading to billions in taxpayer savings thanks to new safeguards. "There were BOTS, ghost students, dead people getting these loans. We enforced and tweaked the entire system so we have real-time fraud identity now." At last, applicants must actually verify they are living people. It’s astonishing this basic check wasn’t standard before!