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By Clee Torres, TDS News ALBANY, NY — In what economists are calling “the most predictable case of buyer’s remorse since California realized people were leaving,” New York Governor Kathy Hochul took to the podium this week to desperately plead with high-net-worth New Yorkers who escaped to no-income-tax Florida to please come back home and “pay their fair share.” “I need people who are high-net-worth to support the generous social programs that we want to have in our state right now,” Hochul said, apparently unaware that those “generous” programs — open-border handouts, gender studies for migrants, and $8 oat-milk lattes for the homeless — are exactly why everyone with a functioning brain and a bank account fled in the first place. “There are some patriotic millionaires who stepped up. Okay, cut me the checks if you want to be supportive. But maybe the first step should be to go down to Palm Beach and see who we can bring back home because our tax base has been eroded.” Sources confirm the tax base was “eroded” by roughly 250,000 New Yorkers who took Hochul’s 2022 advice to “just jump on a bus and head down to Florida where you belong” when they didn’t share her values of confiscatory taxation and failing governance. Meanwhile, Florida continues to run massive budget surpluses with zero state income tax, proving once again that when you stop treating productive citizens like ATMs, they stick around and the state actually prospers. Palm Beach residents reportedly responded to Hochul’s plea by laughing, applying more sunscreen, and enjoying another day without funding subway fare evasion and open-air drug markets. At press time, Hochul was reportedly considering a new tourism campaign: “New York: Come Back, We Promise The Muggings Are Mostly Non-Violent Now.”