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I was interviewing for a job, and my prospective boss asked me if I could pass a drug test. I told him “It depends on how hard I study.” Got the job………..

Some people say I'm no good, that I'm crazy as a loon. Cause I get stoned in the morning...I get stoned in the afternoon. Kinda like my Blue Tick hound, I likes to lay around in the sun, I ain't got much money, but I damn sure have some fun...(you were singing it, weren't you)