photo #8805307

Roger on November 29, 2025

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THOUSANDS OF SCOTS DESCEND ON LOCH NESS TO RE-FILL IT FASTER THAN ENGINEERS CAN DRAIN IT.

“Operation Re-Loch & Load begins.”

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THOUSANDS OF SCOTS DESCEND ON LOCH NESS TO RE-FILL IT FASTER THAN ENGINEERS CAN DRAIN IT. “Operation Re-Loch & Load begins.” In an absolutely unpredictable twist of national chaos, the moment word spread that engineers had restarted the Loch Ness Draining Project, Scots from every corner of the cou... View MoreTHOUSANDS OF SCOTS DESCEND ON LOCH NESS TO RE-FILL IT FASTER THAN ENGINEERS CAN DRAIN IT. “Operation Re-Loch & Load begins.” In an absolutely unpredictable twist of national chaos, the moment word spread that engineers had restarted the Loch Ness Draining Project, Scots from every corner of the country mobilised like a clan battle from 1314. Within hours, the banks of Loch Ness were swarming with thousands of patriotic volunteers determined to stop the loch being emptied, armed with whatever they could find that holds even a teaspoon of water. Eyewitnesses report a sight “like a water based Highland Games,” with Scots furiously chucking water back in using, Buckets, Garden watering cans, Hot water bottles, Tupperware tubs missing their lids, Old Irn Bru bottles, Cast iron kettles, Reusable coffee cups, A 1980s foot spa, A paddling pool being used like a giant ladle, A gravy boat “borrowed” from a the local Inn, One man trying to syphon water with a snorkel, Another using his cupped hands and refusing to stop “’cos Nessie needs me”. Several groups of Glaswegians arrived with supersoakers the size of rocket launchers, firing continuous streams of water back into the loch while shouting “HOLD THE LINE!” like they were defending Helm’s Deep. Meanwhile, a squad of Aberdonians turned up with a hose attached to the taps of their Airbnb, insisting they’d only run it “until the meter starts tickin’ too fast.” Even more impressively, one Dundee family attempted to get water back in using nothing but a wheelbarrow, a tarp, and sheer Dundee optimism. Despite engineers insisting the draining “must continue,” their machinery is now being outpaced by the nation’s finest chaos ridden hydration effort. At one point, the loch level went up by 0.3 millimetres, causing celebrations so loud Nessie reportedly surfaced, looked around, and immediately went back under with the energy of someone who regrets ever becoming famous. Officials say the stand off could last for days unless someone confiscates the buckets, but so far, morale remains high, kettles remain filled, and Scotland’s greatest natural treasure remains protected by the most unhinged militia the Highlands have ever seen.

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November 29, 2025