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"Trouble-Free Marriages"I have to laugh at counselees who look at couples and wish their marriages could be just as happy and trouble-free. The reason I am laughing is because after a quarter of a century with those couples, I know they're anything but. What I can't seem to get through to the starry-eyed is that good marriages require work. Hard work. Sacrifice. Submission. Humility. Patience. Tons of grace. And since we are all proud people, we expect our spouses to exhibit those while giving ourselves a pass.Here's the concept that eludes so many no matter how hard I try: Marriage is not about me. It's about you. I am marrying you in order to love you, cherish you, support you, satisfy you, and complete you--regardless of whether I get anything back. Marriage is not fifty-fifty--it's not I'll love you to the degree you love me--because that puts the focus is in the wrong place. The selfish operate this way--am I getting what I deserve from you? Because if I am, then I'll do the same for you.No marriage can survive that. The pledge is--I vow before God and these witnesses to love, honor, and cherish--in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part. Period. No conditions. No exceptions. No codicils. Regardless of whatever.Taking that vow seriously will radically change the dynamic of any marriage. Especially yours.