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About That "Spade"Some years ago I had a counselee who prided himself on “calling a spade a spade.” I still don’t know what that means but got the impression he was “telling it like I see it.” Obviously we all appreciate candor. It’s no fun trying to figure out what people are trying to say when they talk in circles. But this guy’s communication skills resembled a redneck with a shotgun. He’d unload on someone and walk away leaving them bleeding. He got whatever was bothering him off his chest, but at what cost? He was twice divorced, had kids who refused to be in the same state with him, couldn’t keep a job, and admitted he had a few acquaintances but no friends. And he wondered why. Probably because he called a spade a spade.I counseled him with Scripture. I exegeted the “speaking the truth in love” verses and “let no corrupt communication proceed from your mouth” and “ let your speech be seasoned with salt.” I role-played and cajoled and berated, and nothing helped. Eventually I realized I was literally working with a poisoned well. Jesus commented that out of a good heart comes good things and out an evil heart comes evil things--and this guys heart was definitely evil. I was trying to manipulate a wolf into behaving like a nice sheep and failing miserably.There came a time when he finally grasped the gift of God’s love and embraced it. He surrendered that toxic soul to God who washed it, cleansed it, and filled it with good things. And the proof of his encounter with God was evident every time he opened his mouth. He was a transformed man. A trophy of God’s grace. His counselor took no credit, and for good reason. Only God can change a heart, and until he does all we can do is try to minimize the symptoms.