photo #1734285

You'd THINK at my age, I'd KNOW better, but NOOOO ! Not me! As if 2021 hasn't been rough enough, I had to put more icing on it. I don't know what I thought would be funny about it, but, alas, I did. Anyway, I was sitting outside in the 74* weather yesterday having my traditional glass of applejack at 5:00 contemplating the upcoming New Year when George appeared in a flash. He was MAD, and grabbed my glass and took a healthy swig. He couldn't even talk without a low growl in his throat at first, then proceeded to cuss me up one side and down the other. After about five minutes of this, I demanded an answer. He then told me that they'd attempted to rack their batch of applejack and found out it was apple cider vinegar. He was visibly shaken, and genuinely scared of something. I went and got him a wee saucer of the real thing, and after reading yesterday's post, I decided to "tawk" to him and fess up to an evil practical joke. He'd been getting anxious lately, and I couldn't figure him out. I waited patiently for him, and he calmed down enough to relate the entire story. Then even I got worried about him ! Seems the gray squirrels and the red squirrels were going to take our advice from this page weeks ago, and even got together with the raccoon clan in the holler on our property. They'd decided to work together, pool their money, and prepare the bucket of applejack together so they could have a New Year's Eve party to bring in the New Year in style. They'd come to me for my recipe, and I'd set George and his "wife" Throckmorton up as a payback. They got all the ingredients together, and "threw" the batch using my directions in spite of arguments from the raccoons. Now, the batch was vinegar, and every squirrel on the property of all varieties, as well as the raccoons, were hunting George and cousin Throckmorton. They figured they'd been played, and wanted revenge. They'd even contacted Sammy the black snake and enlisted his help with HIS clan, who weren't happy at getting woken up. Yeah, there was real trouble brewing (or not) in Cairo ! I told him we'd put our heads together and figure this out, since it was my fault. It was a payback and a practical joke, but I forgot they didn't know what that was. I devised the perfect plan. It HAD to work. I went inside, and my son and I racked our next bucket. We siphoned off about a gallon, and mixed it with water. It was a little weak, so we put in three or four ounces of apple pie moonshine. That worked. With George in tow, we walked the bucket outside to where the bucket of cider vinegar was, and we weren't greeted as a property owner should be, trust me. I explained that I'd put that bucket outside so it wouldn't contaminate the working batches, and moved George's bucket inside. I didn't want to smell the vinegar, see, and it worked fine. I was going to bottle the vinegar for future pickling. They gathered around and tested the substitute batch. They seemed satisfied, and George and Throckmorton appeared exonerated. My son and I left with the vinegar, and we thought we were really smart. That's when we were met by the raccoon clan, and they asked how the cinnamon flavor had made it in there when none was used. Dang ! Apple PIE moonshine ! I just stammered a little, and rushed my son into the house. Maybe they'll all forget after their party tomorrow night. I figured I'd saved the rest of the year after all, and might live through next year. World Peace orchestrated ! Then, I remembered I'd sent a 1099 to the IRS in George's name for the cost of the Vet visit. Oh well, that'll be next year. No problem...........