photo #1668022

Don't give me that awwwww-howwww cute thing. This is exactly how sinister that rodent George can be. Just exactly as predicted, that peanut sucker showed up a day late and a dollar short. Right at cocktail hour. When I looked up, I spit out my mouthful and started howling. I don't know HOW he did it, let alone where he got the costumes from, but SOMEHOW he convinced his cousin Throckmorton to pose as his WIFE ! You've got to remember I've known George for quite awhile, and I've watched Throckmorton pelt my son with chewed pine cones in his work area. After recent events, I decided to play along and find out what he was up to, so I explained I was laughing because he looked so different than the other day. He proceeded to introduce his wife, "Georgette", and I had to bite my tongue. He wanted me to explain to "her" how I made my applejack, and told "her" to take notes. Now I had him, and I knew it. He explained he'd told "her" how good it was, and they figured they could make their own. He only wanted a "touch" to share with "her" so "she'd" know how it should taste after it was ready. Mind you, I'm not in the practice of being mean to animals, but a good joke is a good joke. I don't know why I do what I do sometimes, it just happens. I went through the entire process, step by step. Then, I added an extra step. After answering all "her" questions, I made "her" read it all back to me. Then, I came in and got a shot glass full only, and added some sugar. I stirred it up, and proudly went outside. George offered it to "Georgette" first, and "she" took half the jigger. Then, George finished it, and made a face. I asked what the problem was, and he said it was too sweet. I frowned, and innocently remarked I must've forgotten the apple cider vinegar shot when I made this batch to knock off the sweetness in the beginning. I went back inside, and half filled the jigger with real, then brought it out. He said that worked, and I explained I'd just put it in the rest of the batch, but it usually tastes funny when you do it after. That's when "Georgette" underlined the extra step which was to stir in a shot glass full of apple cider vinegar when you make each batch. It literally took everything I had to keep from cracking up. We sat around talking about many things, including Fed-Ex's decision to no longer ship any firearms, and had returned any in transit to the shippers. They didn't get the ramifications of it all, so I had to explain it to them. Listening to Throckmorton try to sound female really caused me a lot of willpower to overcome, but I managed. I gave them each a sliver of pecan pie, then took their utensils they'd obviously absconded from us. We finally ended with everything smoothed out from the recent events, and they parted on a civil basis. Seems they were on their way to put together some ingredients for their "project". I almost wet myself watching "Georgette" relieve "herself" in his traditional way behind a tree before departing instead of squatting. George is normally quite a conversationalist, and very astute, but I really can't believe I pulled this off. Time will tell, however, and that's going to take around three weeks to come to fruition. The really good practical jokes take time to build up to, and I'm already working on some wonderful quips and paybacks when they find out they just created a five gallon bucket of apple cider vinegar ! I'm SURE this'll teach that fleabag not to bite ME again! Alas, though, I've got to wait three whole weeks. THIS will be hard, but worth it ! Rotflol !