photo #1666122

I couldn't leave y'all hanging without the "rest of the story", as Paul Harvey used to say. I left yesterday in a bit of a panic, so I guess I'll pick it up from there. I was running to the outhouse to investigate the racket there. Yeah, it was that peanut sucking rodent of mine, George. What I saw put me into paroxysms of laughter, which was really dangerous because I was out of breath from running over there to begin with. There was George, frantically clinging to the seat edge. The black and brown all over him was NOT mud, and the accompanying aroma therapy was NOT lilacs. With the resultant tears in my eyes due to several reasons, I closed the door and set the slide. Then, I grabbed that fool, pulled him up, and closed the lid. I sat him down for an explanation. Turns out I DID NOT knock him 'longside his haid as I had feared, he just said he'd been in a panic and was running. After pressing him about falling outta his own tree, he allowed it might have been the influence of applejack, but he was adamant he could handle it. Seems he was tryin' to jump on the outhouse roof but fell short, and shot right through the crescent moon cutout and landed right in the hole, but the lid was up, which he tried to blame on me! Needless to say, I was paralyzed with laughter so bad I was getting stomach cramps. Kinda like the ones dry heaves cause. Anyway, every time I tried to suck in air, I was reminded of where I was and who I was with. That old cuss made a skunk something to aspire to ! I grabbed him again and unlocked the door to the privy, only to be greeted by all of George's cohorts waiting outside armed with green pinecones! I wasn't in a humorous mood now, so I just held George up and let them see/sniff the problem. They immediately capitulated, and scattered to the four winds. I took him over to the outside faucet, pulled the handle, and gleefully proceeded to half drown that mutt. After a full washdown, I was preparing to sling dry him when he jumped down, ran over to his tree, and climbed it so fast I couldn't believe it. Then, I was faced with the task of cleaning out the outhouse before the little woman had to use it. It took over an hour of scrubbing with bleach, and hanging several tree type air fresheners in there to make it passable. I'd been sittin' down 'bout half an hour when my bride sashayed out to the outhouse. She came back and her voice was several octaves higher than normal when she informed me the outhouse STANK. Yeah, I was astonished until she told me her eyes were burning from the chlorine and pine fresheners. I sat her down, went inside, poured her a half glass (she handles hers 'bout as well as George), and handed it to her. Then, I explained everything to her whilst she guffawed and hooted the whole time. George even started cackling from his nest! It's times like these that teach a man how Rodney Dangerfield felt. After my shower and crawling into bed, she was still giggling. Well, yesterday, I went outside for coffee, no George in sight. Seems he wasn't going to get anywhere near our Thanksgiving dinner! Afterwards, I took a small slice of pecan pie out on a paper plate, but it was still there this morning. I'm not totally sure where George is at this time, but I know he's watching. He'll probably be out this evening, but you can bet he ain't gettin' nany more applejack until we have a talk ! And y'all think country life is boring ! Au contraire, Mon Ami ! Enjoy your family time ! Blessings !