photo #1434340

Before the rumors start, let me clarify exactly what happened and why. First off, I'll be fine after several weeks. I didn't THINK I was being stupid, but, alas, it would appear I was. Yeah, it was cocktail hour, and I hadn't had George trying to sneak any Applejack, and after yesterday's post, I decided to mess with him. I went inside, and grabbed the sheepskin rug I keep by the back door. I went back outside, had a big belt, then threw the rug over me. Then, I started crawling around on all fours and bleating. Before y'all start, I don't have any close neighbors and my son was working in the shop, so I wasn't expecting any "special" trouble or attention. I SHOULD'VE payed more attention to the fact that I hadn't seen our lab/heeler cross in awhile, but hindsight's ALWAYS 20/20. Suffice to say, it's important to learn something new every day. ANYhew, did any of y'all know squirrels have a bad attitude when it comes to sheep? Yeah, me neither. Go figure. George saw me, but instead of coming at me, he gathered a whole HERD of squirrels and attacked me worse than coonhounds in the hunt with ALL of his buddies. Now understand THIS, I don't recall ANY screaming or whining, but my wife SWEARS I did. She's adamant about it, and claims it was the reason to come find out what was happening. My son came running just about the time my dog arrived on scene, and things are still kinda hazy for me from that point. We still have no idea who/what that dang dog was attacking, but I will state unequivocally that I'll always regret teaching my son to grab whatever's at hand and wade into the melee. My wife's broom skills are not to be underestimated, either. Ever. Again. The 911 report hasn't been released, as the final draft can't be written yet. Suffice to say, the EMS crew pulled up, and promptly fell down in paroxysms of laughter, and haven't stopped since. Seems like I had multiple squirrel scratches, a couple of bites, and scraped knees. The broken leg was courtesy of my son grabbing an old axe handle we keep handy to dispatch snakes. The minor concussion was attributed to my wife's broom skills, which I shall ALWAYS remember. The three cracked ribs are up for grabs, but I 'spect they were injured when that speckled flying critter I call a dog hit me in the side at flank speed. No, I didn't have insurance, but the EMS workers and 911 staff took up a large collection after paying to read the report. I understand they'll be selling pictures soon, and I get those proceeds as well. Now, they're taking up a collection in advance of my next "good idea". I'm not sure whether to be put out or appreciate the gesture. Think I'll wait for the pain to subside before I try and think. Yeah. That.