photo #1023679

Son, we've both seen those memes that ask "If you could go back in time, what would you tell yourself?". I've always wondered what three words I'd tell me. I don't know what age it hits, but at 70+ now, I can safely tell you it would simply be " You be you". I don't know how we get started trying to impress others, but that's a very deep wormhole to get into. Some people actually get lost and die there. Narcissists love it there, and Megalomaniacs and Tyrants love keeping you there. With a healthy self esteem and regular introspection, you can avoid the pitfalls of that trap. There is absolutely nothing more aggravating than being criticized or condemned for being the person you THOUGHT would please somebody but didn't. Why you would rather concentrate on pleasing somebody else rather than yourself is beyond me. The introspection is required to keep you from hedonism and a false sense of self. If you're simply being yourself, and someone has a problem with that, that's very well spoken. THEY have a problem, not you. Just ignore it and get on down the road. Today, with the advent of social media and it's resplendent "filters", people post profile pictures that you'd NEVER recognize in person. They buy/wear clothes they don't even like to impress people who don't even care or resent. They drive cars to impress other people. They spend atrocious amounts of money on plastic surgery, cosmetics, and hair salons. They hemorrhage money on tanning booths, skin care, and the eternal fountain of youth. Their diets consist of things no earthly animal would eat. Most of their time and money is spent on maintaining that facade. All of this leads to loneliness, though. Two people like this get together, and the eventuality of a split is inevitable. If only one is, but the other isn't, same result. Most, if not all, of the happiest people I know show no outward appearances of trying to please others. They're just being themselves. If you ask them how they do it, you confuse them because even the thoughts of doing things differently is repugnant to them. They don't have time for that stuff, they've got a life to live. One that truly enriches the soul. One that matters. Just like a window with four panes in it, our persona starts out that way. The you you think you are, the you you think others see, the you you really are, and the you others really see. As life progresses, you learn that you're not the only living being who's made bad choices or mistakes. You learn we're all the same. We've all got stories and experiences. Your life blooms like a flower when you finally realize that the goal is to narrow down those four panes to just one large piece of glass. You do that by being totally open and honest. You were put here for a reason, and it sure wasn't to become someone else's definition of you. The only way you can be made to feel any different is your failure to accept yourself. You aggrandize others and subjugate yourself to them. You define your life by other's " successes ", not your own. You give them permission to make you feel bad about yourself. STOP IT. IMMEDIATELY ! We're all expecting the Second Coming, but it's not THEM. Anybody who is not willing to accept you for who you are should be avoided at all costs. They're a poison to your ID. You be you. There's no better advice I can give you. Then, the rest shall be added unto you. Love you !