photo #2268274

When it's time for "topping and stocking", 'bout three-four weeks, my son and I drive 18 miles to town, hit two stores, then drive the 18 miles back in around two hours. I can tell when the Little Woman's been "a'coop" too long though, after being married over thirty years. Sometimes it's growling, cantankerousness, or just out of sorts. This past trip, I'd picked up a dozen glazed doughnuts as a special treat. We usually have one apiece during our 3:00 coffee time, and they last four days that way. We keep 'em in the air fryer for safety. Yep. Little woman forgot last night and proceeded to twice bake the remaining six. She saved them in time, but the container was history. I knew she'd been a'coop too long, so I decided to take her on the local produce run to the little "town" a piece from us and the fresh pork farm a skip away. Not too far, and I know the back ways. Beautiful this time of year. Lots of tree farms, and cornfields, very few houses or traffic. I started getting a great idea. I knew of this one tree farm with a great road. As we approached the turn, my wife gave me "the look", which meant certain death if I made that turn. Her "get it out of your mind" follow up confirmed my immediate assessment of my longevity. When we arrived at the produce stand, there weren't any other men around, but the women were clatchin' so bad I grabbed an apple, showed it to the cashier, and pulled out my pocketknife, which means I forgot my Roebuckers and couldn't bite. Also my liberal identification device, 'cause they start howlin' at the sight of a knife. Little Woman was catching up on everything. I finally cut her out of the pack and headed for our sausage heaven. On the way, she started giggling. Yeah, I had to know. Our 1963 Falcon has front buckets that don't lay down, and she'd pictured us in the back seat when somebody drove up. At our age, we'd probably break something scrambling, and get "stuck" until the paramedics arrived. Unfortunately, we know them all, mainly because of George. As we pulled into the "sausage and egg" yard, we were both in tears. For different reasons, however. So, now I'm holding all the eggs, sausage, and kielbasa, as Little Woman starts clatchin'. Ain't no way to eat raw pork or eggs, so I put them in the car. After what seemed like hours, I eventually broke her loose, and headed home. Reckon she's gonna have to demonstrate "a-coop" again afore I volunteer to ride her again. Even then, I've gotta be more careful. Maybe I can blame it on gas prices ! Yeah!