photo #2262605

We were "chillin' out", minding our own business yesterday when frenetic scratching on our front door could be heard. I looked out, and Throckmorton was jumping up and down and pointing. His English is kinda broken, but it seems George was in severe distress, shaking all over with cloudy eyes and open mouth. He'd been racing around, acting like a fat squirrel shouldn't in the heat, climbing and jumping from tree to tree until he bounced and went crazy. I bundled him up in a towel, put him on the front seat, and barrelled the 22 miles to the vet. Yeah, the vet knows him, and asked what happened THIS time. I related what I knew, and he went off to see what was happening. About twenty minutes later, I was deep in a magazine article when my world got extremely complicated. Two County Sheriff's deputies stormed through the door, guns drawn, ordering me face down on the floor. I was cuffed, and unceremoniously drug out to the local Doc-in-a-box, where I was blood tested. Then off to jail to be inspected, dejected, finger printed, photographed, poked, prodded, and all other forms of humiliation including the infamous body cavity search by Godzilla himself. My phone call to my wife went unanswered, so they let me call my attorney. After an eternity, including a mystery meat sangwitch, I found out I was being held on possible drug charges, specifically cocaine. While I was caged, they'd served warrants and searched my property with the Sheriff, DEA, SBI, State Troopers, FBI, ASPCA, and God only knows who else, finding nothing but an empty little zip-loc that contained traces under George's tree, next to his water bowl. After my release, Throckmorton started telling me what he knew. He'd found the baggie out by my mailbox on the side of the road, and brought it to George to put in their water thinking it was sugar. I treat them to that sometimes, but THIS wasn't sugar ! Seems George dumped it all into what little water was left, and drank it all. Hence, the onset of crazy. Berserk ! The vet administered Narcan, and called authorities as required by law. After I called him, he said George was going to be fine, but I needed to put him on a diet after I picked him up today. I've decided I will, but he's gonna owe me. I told the Sheriff I wouldn't press charges if he'd require at least one deputy learn how to speak squirrel, and give me some Narcan in case the fool tries it again. Meanwhile, we're fixing up everything they tore up in their search. Life in the country does have it's complications. Thank heaven they're far and few between. Going to add up all the bills now so's I know how much that rodent owes me. Put some creme on Godzilla's revenge, too. Keep y'all posted !