photo #2098471

When the weather gets really hot down here in the South, and the critters aren't to be seen or heard from, it ain't just because Momma nature gave 'em any sense. At least MY critters, anyway. Yeah, it was hot, so I'd chilled my applejack and went outside anyway. I saw 'em peeking and scurrying around, acting like they were Rambos. Even George. That pachyderm tree rodent fancied himself as The Flash, and I almost spit out a mouthful! I knew something was afoot immediately. I just waited for it to unfold, blissfully ignoring the positioning and their cackles. I got a whiff of paint, and since I hadn't painted anything recently, knew I was right. I reckoned this was going to be a doozy, and I didn't want to miss it, heat or not. I drained my glass, and went back inside for a fresh, cool refill. I don't know why, but my hackles went up and I approached the door in stealth mode before I went out. It's a fortunate thing I didn't have a snack in my mouth as usual, or it would've gotten strained trough my nose ! They'd positioned one of George's relatives right next to the table, and they'd painted him to look like a SKUNK ! I clued in my wife and son, and we formed a plan. I went out as usual, set my glass of chilled down, and SKUNK appeared, ostensibly to make me run and they'd share my cool one in peace. Ha. I collapsed like I'd had a heart attack, and my wife came out screaming with her broom, trying to swat him. UNFORTUNATELY, the SKUNK crawled on top of me which accounted for the knots in my forehead, or so WIFE said. My son had gone out the back door, and came running around the corner with the Blaster on the hose, which explains my near death experience at drowning. I crawled into my chair, and drank that glass staring in every direction to show them critters who was boss. It turns out I really didn't need to. Mother Nature wasn't done with THEM yet. Turns out they'd used oil-based paint, and the heat baked it on reel good. As they were running away, fleeing for their lives, a REAL skunk spied them, and as we know the "sap rises" this time of year. The whole neighborhood heard those screams and weird noises until around three in the morning, and all his relatives jumped on George until he ran away, which I'd of paid good money to see. Him, run. Anyway, they rescued their tree climbing, painted relative and got him home. Turns out Mother Nature has a sense of humor, too. Meanwhile, y'all takin' things WAY too serious. I'd recommend y'all move to the South, but worry about your ability to handle it. Especially in the heat !