photo #2029162

If you were DUNDERHEADED enough to forget Mother's Day yesterday, I'll rescue you before you've got to join the military to escape perdition. As usual, wisdom, knowledge, and a wee bit of experience IS necessary. DO NOT rely on chicken biddies, chocolates, or flowers. When chocolates and flowers are gone, you're back in the doghouse. When the biddie croaks without the heat lamp, it's also your fault. See? You were only thinking short term ! Wimmen are seriously complex. A LOT more complicated than meat/taters and beer, too. They can whip up a mad faster than a tornader! First off, get yourself to a quiet place, where you can think. Second, listen to an elder. We've ALL done something in our past to aggravate a wimmen in our lives, and we're still here. There's MANY mistakes you can make, like chocolates. They can be scarfed in one sitting, and every pound gained is YOUR fault ! Meanwhile, YORE hole jus' got deeper. The ONLY answer is a CRITTER ! A baby goat, puppy, or kitten. Preferably wearing a cute sweater with hearts, or "Momma loves me" on it. NOW, her womanly instincts kick in, and she's gotta care for her new "babeee". The love will start pouring out, and she'll start cooing. She'll forget anything that's going on. She'll just be loving on it and forget WHY she got it ! Next thing you know, she'll be fixin' it a bed, and feeding it. She'll take thousands of pictures and post it all over social media, giving YOU credit for being such a thoughtful person. Yeah, we all know what happened and why, but we just keep quiet because it reminds the REST of us of that time WE forgot her "_________". Now comes the crucial part. EVERY time you see a cute critter picture, REMEMBER. If'n you're dumber than a box of rocks, allow me to ask you who started petting zoos and why ! I've only got two rescue dawgs, a rambunctious squirrel, and a son. At 71, that ain't TOO bad. Yet. Pray for me.